Divorce

From What the eyes cannot see

Last year the Reproductive Health Bill or the RH Bill was the main subject of debates and disagreements amongst the Filipinos. It was all over the place – in schools, newspapers and even the blokes on the streets were talking about it! People kept on sharing and sometimes imposing their stand towards this plan for the government to have adequate reproductive education and modern means of family planning for the Filipino. And I can still remember how politicians would cringe whenever they are asked about it – it was the most dreaded question of each presidential candidate at that time too. They knew that whatever their personal stand was, it will have to step back and also consider how many votes it will generate for them.

Now, divorce has been one of the hotly contested topics in the most recent months especially within the confines of the House of Representatives. Apparently, we are the only country in the world – yes the only country in the whole world that does not have a law for this, unless you count the Vatican. Currently, marriage in the Philippines can only be voided thru annulment and this requires a very long winded process. Not to mention there has to be either a proven physical, mental or moral incapacity before this can even be considered as an option for broken families. From what I heard, this would cost around $ 7,000 US dollars, definitely something that most of us cannot afford; you can already buy a good brand new car at this amount!

A statistic just came out last year showing that in this country, 2 out of 10 Filipinas no longer live with their husbands because they just could no longer bear doing so. Where does the teaching of the Bible come into play here when it said, “What God has joined, no man should divide.”? And yet we are proud to say that we are a Roman Catholic nation? Do we keep this pride thru its distinction alone? And remember, this does not even account for all the single mothers out there that never got married in the first place. And let us not even get into the talk about domestic violence! It is starting to be evident that religion alone has not really made its mark when it comes to the adherence to its teachings.

I would rather have 100 families legally broken up and living their new happy lives with their new partners. Than have 100 families still remain officially married, stick together but keep a family that does not know of love. I’ve seen for myself how step-sons and step-daughters have grown to love their new step-dads and step-moms. This shows that it is possible for not just for the separated spouses to be happy again, but for their kids too! The essence of marriage should always be at the crux of this argument, it is not just a religious vow, but it is a vow of love – for your partner and for the entire family. What good is a family that lives for the conformity of marriage? It’s like having a heart that does not feel, a brain that does not think, senses that cannot experience the world – an empty shell, just stone-cold. Beautiful and shiny, but stone-cold.

Ang Tiguwang

From What the eyes cannot see

Ang tiguwang ulipon sa mga bag-ong alamag
Gahi kung pasabton sa mga butang nga wala nadak-an
Pero kung pasultihon kay suhito pagka dasmag
Ang unod kay wala diay padulnganan

Hala sigeg padayon ug pamulong
Sa mga estorya sa iyang kapahunan
Nga murag ang karon pirmi ayuhonon nalang
Tanan tao samot na ang mga kabatan-unan

Di ba sila sauna ni agi man pud ni ini?
Sa mga gore nga ga sigeg sul-ob ug gurang
Pero karon na usab na ug pirti na ka lahi
Kay ang Facebook naman ang gina atubang

Kung kabantay mo sa batasan ani sa kadaghanan
Kuwang nalang mag sige silag luwa ug ughad
Sa ka bulanos kung maka pag sangyaw sa mga tinudluan
Mag tuo ka nga santos kay maka istorya murag wa ga tugkad

Susihon nimo ang kada adlaw nga wali sa katong bata paka
Nagkat-on ug nagdako nga hinay hinay naka amgo ka
Kasagaran aning istoryaha kay halos murag kumedya
Ang mga tiguwang mismo musupak sa tinudluan nga wala sunda

Sinners and Saints

From What the eyes cannot see

The names Osama and Obama do sound alike, yet there are stark differences how we see these famous personalities. One may be a messenger of freedom and the other is a messenger of the new renaissance – but to who is who for you? It is almost a bolt from the blue that an unsolicited partiality lingers at the back of our heads as we assess what had happened a few days back. The battle between Osama and Obama, and Obama won. The spectators felt that the world will be a better place after the incident; the Americans think that justice was served after a long and arduous journey; some feared the worst of terrorism is yet to come. Difficult it is to say that Osama was the living devil, as the school of thought dictates, as he might have argumentatively pointed a finger at every living American as the true Lucifer.

This variation of how we see Osama Bin Laden created a whirlwind controversy as to how true justice should have went down on him. General ethics have told us that every human being deserves a certain level of respect and holds a degree of intrinsic value that no man should ever take away from. Dignity, honour and life are some examples to name a few. That these core tenets should always be upheld even at the midst of war, death and sheer chaos. Rules of engagement have been ever evolving throughout the millennia but its fundamentals serve as what delineates justice from retribution. With this, is it safe to say that justice was never served to Osama Bin Laden since he was killed in the fire fight? Or was the verdict closed the moment he exclaimed to the world that he was the mastermind on most terrorist killings that had influenced the death of five thousand innocent lives or more?

The date of Osama Bin Laden’s death almost aligned itself with Pope John Paul II’s beatification for sainthood. It is as if Father Time was sending us a message that there is parity between sinners and saints. That sinners are saints, and saints are sinners – an allegory that succumbs to the realities of today as we continue to press on thinking we are pure in spirit, living with the false sense of hope that we built a society that prides itself with morality, justice and liberties. In order for us to determine who is the sheep and who is the wolf in sheep’s clothing, we might have to assume that both are wolves until the dust has settled. But by far, it seems that the USA was the sheep in this story that cranked it up and after 10 years, finally outran the wolf.

Pay It Forward

From What the eyes cannot see

Pay it forward is a very simple concept about how small good deeds when passed forward can exponentially circumnavigate the globe. Once it does, it will be like nuclear fission – it will continuously multiply on its own. This school of thought has always been found in the heart of every major religion in the world because being selfish is such an easy thing to do. Being selfless on the other hand is something that is being taught to us, something we had to learn as it does not come naturally to a child.

And selflessness is associated with an act of self sacrifice for someone else’s benefit. This premise therefore poses a threat to how we perceive ourselves as being selfless.

Let us first remember that selflessness is different from being helpful, cooperative or generous. Selflessness should be defined as true altruism, the most genuine definition of sacrifice, and sacrifice being the ultimate manifestation of love for others.

When I first pondered on the line, “You are being helpful because you would feel good inside, and that in itself is a selfish act.” It really struck down on me like an axe cutting through a block of wood. How can something that fuels our motivation to help others can be so selfish at the same time? Yes I am guilty of this, you can call me selfish but never call me a fibber! I am helping others because it makes me happy when other people are happy. When smiles are so wide it almost engulfs their faces, when eyes gleam and glitter so full of hope, when sincere words of thank you is uttered so many times… these are just some of the things that make the extra work you rendered all worthwhile.

Have I done good deeds that made me feel good inside? Definitely! Was I selfish in a way because I felt warm and fuzzy afterwards – well, if you put it in that context, yes.

How about good deeds that I have done that were purely altruistic in nature? I think I have a few.

But to me, no matter what feelings you would posses after extending a helping hand would give you, for as long as the intention is purely to help, it would already count as a good deed. Sometimes it’s no longer about the why, it’s more on the what – what did we do when we see someone in need? Did we turn a blind eye, a deaf ear or a cold shoulder? My advocacy for the past years has always been to do a good deed to a complete stranger at least every 3 months. It can be as little as offering to bring the groceries of a cripple, helping the elderly find her way inside a mall, to offering a blood donation to a stranger who has myoma.

With this, I encourage you my fellow blogger/reader, to go out and purposely do a good deed from time to time. No matter how miniscule and unfulfilling it may be, it still touched someone else’s heart, because to that recipient of your good deed, the world would have been different without your intervention. You do not have to go out of your way to find it, it is everywhere around you and all you need to do is to be on the look out and keep an open heart. And if you find yourself at the receiving end of this gesture, you should be morally bound to pay it forward.

Social to Sosyal

From What the eyes cannot see

I have come across this question for quite some time now, “The various avenues in technological advances of today like the availability of SMS, social networking, chat, e-mail and video calling are getting us more and more connected with each other – almost real time. But does this truly bring us closer as a family, as a community and as a nation?”

When I was younger, socializing meant you would have to take that bold step in talking to a complete stranger, mostly are my neighbours anyway. The people I played with and grew up with were our neighbours to whom either by choice or by chance we got to know and got comfortable with. Biking, flying the kite, playing Filipino games, even the not so Filipino games like chinese garter, basketball, baseball to name a few were the most sought after means of past time as it accommodates large crowds. We used to be 14 strong in my neighbourhood.

However today’s kids, just like the ad for The Yellow Pages seem to let their “fingers do the walking”. Instead of going out and really experiencing the world, they get stifled by the magic of technology that they no longer get to explore and take risks. Risks like the many times I got chased by dogs just because we were trying to get to our friends house for a game of basketball. It’s this type of social interaction and exploration that is lacking today; this superposes the 4 corners of your laptop screen! So it truly is Blackberry’s and Apple’s and Microsoft’s and all the parents in the world who buy these for their kids - fault why the children of generation Y seem to be less altruistic and more self-centred. Less of EQ and more of IQ. Maybe that is just my opinion.

So, with lesser emotional intelligence, does this information age bring us closer? I highly doubt that. We don’t even bother to talk to our immediate environs as we are too busy fiddling with that Ipad or checking for wi-fi connections on our phones. It’s like we are living in our own internet-connected bubble, our “Hi’s” and “Hello’s” are no longer spoken words, and our smiles are no longer physical signs of warmth but emoticons that we put in our chat screens. The word “close” (a word used to define level of affiliation) was meant to encompass the emotional, physical and social relationship – not the technological closeness between FB posts!

Bringing this closer to you, my dear reader, when was the last time you offered help to a stranger? Or said “Hi” to a stranger in the elevator? Or did you even see these around you? Or maybe you were to busy playing with your phone?

In the words of Albert Einstein (c/o Google), “It is appallingly obvious our technology has exceeded our humanity.”

Disconcert

From What the eyes cannot see

The ground trembles at an angry pace
Every bit of courage above it breaks
Fiery red cuts across the blue calm sky
People look up and wonder why

We see nothing but lightning bolts
More questions and unanswered thoughts
Confusion with the pouring acid rain
Piercing our skins scraping it with pain

Burning lava hugs the new landscape
As we jostle for our escape
What is this imminent suffering?
What more could it be taking?

Riddling clowns circle teasingly
Ticks shy on the tipping point of insanity
Surviving for mere existence
One starts to feel a nonsensical peace

Jumping off the ledge to end it all
Seems to be a solution bloated with gall
No way out but with a big bullet hole
Up from your gaping mouth to your skull

Emotions surge to unearthly degrees
Consideration of moral teachings of priests
Is all too late and inadequate
To stop all the agony and self hate

Things I hate about people!

From What the eyes cannot see

There are certain character traits that make a certain composition to the extent that, like music, one can tell how its melody is going to turn out. Whether its grunge, rock, rap, classic, metal, pop or etc – you can almost always tell which is which after the first eight to ten seconds into the song. On the same line, we are able to fit into stereotypes the myriad of personalities we encounter in our life.

The experiences I’ve had then made me smarter, more mature and quite honestly, a bit more judgmental. And mind you, I don’t see being good at judging character a bad thing at all. I am able to better understand, relate and communicate with these personalities better. But it doesn’t diminish the fact that I still hate their stinking gut! Here are some of them:

1. People that say “YOU DIDN’T” at every start of their sentence.

I never really understood which part of YOU and DID NOT gave these people the idea that it’s okay to use them in one sentence! This type of self-affirmation gives them that domineering mindset that they know better and would like to show off a bit – it’s the classic nagger/cynic attitude.

2. The dreaded accusatory statement of “YOU DID IT, DID YOU…”

What’s equally worse than someone saying you didn’t do something? It’s when someone blames you for doing so! “You forgot to lock the door, did you?” – Just gets me all fuming inside!

3. I want to hear what I want to hear!

I call these people airheaded assholes! When someone talks, their puny underpowered, rusty, good-for-nothing brain just is not capable of listening attentively! I really don’t like getting close to these people, they only do most of the talking and has most likely very low social skills.

4. Insecurity!

Some people ask me, how can you tell if the person is insecure from afar? And I tell them, look at their weight! Most insecure people find security in material things, 51% of them find it in food! I challenge my co workers to test this theory and they always come back to me saying I’m right!

5. Self-righteous!

Generally people would strive to be socially and morally upright as we are brought up by our respective families with strong values. But some seems to live in this tiny bubble and never make it outside the box; they seem to only see the wrong in others and never in themselves. I’ve always believed that the person that has an AVERAGE emotional intelligence can easily overcome this loophole.